~*Oh I can't breathe no more, G-Dragon ♥*~

All this week I was too lazy to make an update about my life
I received a job offer to work in Cyprus as a waitress.


It's like a dream come true, ne? For about a month I was telling my mom how cool it would be to work in Crete (for example) and be able to go to the beach everyday after work.. Sun, warmth, water, sand, tanned guys.. maybe first night sweet sin.. (ok I didn't tell her ALL this). But I am forced to decline it, because I am taking IELTS exam on 3rd December. And I also missed Kajitoku very much and would love to go to UK. Argh if only they offered me this few months ago... Anyways..
I'm planning to buy a plane ticket to UK next week. Kyaaaahhh~~~ I wonder how long it will take for me to save up money for a laptop there? I guess I'm gonna be offline for a long time .

Oh girls kpop is overtaking me. It is so addictive! When there was only Noru-chan talking about DBSK it was ok. I could resist. But when you're all crazy about it know, I just... gave it a better try. And omfg I feel like a person who has just fell in love!!!!!!! I forgot all my nagoya kei and angura kei passion. I just need kpop now!! AAAAAHHH!!! Those guys are so handsome and my age (not like that old Hazuki) and and their voices are so sexy!!! Well except SHINee's "Ring Ding Dong". Their singing manner reminds me of V. Tarasovienė in some parts of this song and it makes me laugh like mad.

Ah and now I know why you're crazy about G-Dragon!! Oh I want his babies!!!! He's the cutest man in the world!!!!!!!!!!! ZOMG I'm so in love right now. And looks like I'm not the only one who's over-excited about it.. Look what I found yesterday:


Btw, those ah ahs in the beginning of his song "Breathe" is something HOTT.
Ahahahahaha I almost forgot how fun fangirling could be.

P.S. - my mother is also happy for no apparent reason. I guess she's already celebrating that I'm leaving her apartment soon.

~*4minutes of self-pitiness*~

At the age of 19 you finally start realising that there are more and more younger people around you who have already succeeded in life 10000000x times better than you. I knew that day will come and I was really afraid of it to come. I mean.. that sucks... For example, just look at them:


They're my age (one of them is actually 2 years younger than me x__x;;) and they're like 10000x prettier and are famous and do what they want.

I'm afraid to think what's going to happen when I'll become 30 xD I will feel even more crappy than I do now :D


Poor and ugly people rules, WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!~~~~ XDDDDDDD~

~*Big Bang in your ass xDD*~

Guys, do you know where could I find a bigger version of this pic?

I guess that's all from me for today.. *goes hide in the bushes*







And remember, kids: it's better to not even start listening to k-pop (the same as with cigarettes...)


@___________@;;

~*Books*~

Last week I finished reading Kurt Vonnegut's "Cat's Cradle". This book is epic win. No wonder why it's Gabrielius' favorite.
I'm definitely gonna read it again after every decade. My stepfather is reading it at the moment. I hope he'll like it as much as I do.
By the way, I also love the Lithuanian design of this book:

Some quotes:

People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order, so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say.

~

Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way.

Now I'm reading Jodi Picoult's "Nineteen Minutes".

In nineteen minutes, you can mow the front lawn, color your hair, watch a third of a hockey game. In nineteen minutes, you can bake scones or get a tooth filled by a dentist; you can fold laundry for a family of five....In nineteen minutes, you can stop the world, or you can just jump off it. In nineteen minutes, you can get revenge.

It's a book based on school shootings in USA. She made up her own story but some of the facts and people were taken from true happenings.
It is so hard to read this book for me. I understand how exactly that kid felt because I've been in the similar situation at school. This book again shows why do I hate most of the people on this planet. People are so egoist, full of themselves, two-faced and cruel.
I know that shooting is not the best way but I can't even condemn him... Because people do not come to this world already evil. They're made evil later, by other people.
I only can read this book at night when my family is sleeping because I just can't hold in my tears.
I'm also very impressed by the author. It's really hard to believe that another person could describe people's inner world so damn well.
When I'm reading Peter's thoughs in that book, I'm like: "that's freaking exactly how I felt!"
By the way, did you notice that usually Americans and Europeans cope with abuse differently? For example, Lithuanians tend to suicides while Americans are more likely to settle things by making others die instead of themselves?

Oh, and my mind is playing tricks on me again. Peter should be freckled guy but I couldn't make this image in my head. Lastly he looks like young aie-san T.T
That's just plain stupid..

Anyways, I recommend all of you this book.

~*The man of my dreams (literally)*~

Tonight I finally dreamt Kamenashi Kazuya after a long period of time. And it was so hilarious!
Me and my friends (I remember Kajitoku sitting next to me and I know there were also some of my other friends but I don't remember which ones exactly) participated in a reality show where Kame was searching for a girlfriend :D
At one point we were given a task. We, girls, had to write on little pieces of paper what do we think and feel about Kame and give it to him. And then Kame had to write what does he think about each participant on paper too. I don't remember what I wrote him but I remember what I received :D I guess I won't forget it all my life xD
As I understand I've already met Kame before that show once, when I was riding a bike with Kajitoku in Panevėžys (my grandma's town :D). I fell off the bike and was blushing all the time. Seemed like a total failure xD
So I started reading his note and I almost died of humiliation. He wrote something like: "When I first met you, you seemed so red and childish.. *it was about my face >____>;;* But after a while I realised how wonderful you are and..." and then his note gets unreadable. It was full of holes so I couldn't read what does he think about me now. Kajitoku tried to help me but in vain.. >_>
My dream had some other stupid issues but they're not important :D
I'm just wondering.. did I win or not? xD

P.S. - I saw Hazuki sitting right next to me in that competinion. Seriously my brains are telling me that he's gay in every possible way :D
♥♥♥
:DDDDD

~*My patience won't last long*~

Can this fucking stop one day??? I'm so sick of it! Why always me?? What did I do to deserve all this?!
God, if you really exist, I am saying you right now: "this is fucking mean to choose a young girl always to be a target you fucking old fart!".
People stealing my dreams? Whatever, I'm used to it..
I couldn't sleep tonight because I had pain bout which knocks me out 1 or 2 times per year. As I'm joking - get those spasms at least once in your lifetime and you won't be afraid to give a birth anymore.
Noru-chan, you know what I'm talking about. You've saw me in that pain last year.
This time throwing up didn't help me at all. Now my eyes are red but I'm too cutup to go to sleep. After 8 hours of this agony, my mother comes home and tells me that we were being robbed tonight.
My newly repaired PC is gone, my PASSPORT is gone, all other pc's, documents, diplomas even car keys are gone. So next night my stepfather's office cars will be also taken away?
That stupid old watcher didn't notice anything because... SHE WAS SLEEPING WITH HER STUPID HOMELESS CAT.

I just can't take it any longer. I'm sick of bad things happening to me and my family. I don't even know when I'm gonna write my personal statement because I'm one step from burst out crying. But I can't coz my mother's sitting next to me.

I fucking hate Lithuania. I fucking hate it's people. I want to get out of here ASAP or else just die.
My patience is not timeless.

I feel so sorry for my stepfather. Yesterday was his birthday. And today this happens.

I need a person to be next to me but I don't have one.


P.S. - my stepfather knows who robbed his office. But doh our police won't do anything. Like last time when our neighbours robbed our apartment and police did nothing.

*sniff*

~*Couldn't think of the right title*~

Oh.. I almost forgot... I wanted to show you this, guys, from yesterday evening.
This is the new PV of Plastic Tree (or Prosta Try or whatever you call them :D) and it is soooo WTF?'ish.. Srsly I was watching it like this: O__o;;
But that's why I enjoyed it so much. And I also liked the music. Not the vocal itself :D I can't call that caterwaul singing :D No offence. Ryuutarou is.. Ryuutarou. I mean it's just that his voice doesn't work out in some of their songs :D But it was an interesting experience listening.. :D


Btw.. racism between southern Americans and black people is still happening. Like wtf.. today I was watching "Survivor Samoa" episode 3, which appeared on air last week, and I hear a southern 20 y.o. guy calling a black girl the "ghetto trash". If I was there.. I swear I would've punch him to blood. But that girl was smart enough to just walk away from that scumbag.
Ok I don't say that you must like all races.. Like for example I'm scared of Pakies or stoned black guys but come on I keep it to myself and don't start calling people "ghetto trash". There are different people in all races.
Stupid village guy.
People are all the same around the globe. No matter it's USA or Lithuania..

What else.. ammm.. I have a new nickname.. My mother started calling me "a little worm". Because I'm staying at home.. in my mother's cotton robe, which makes me look like in a cocoon, and just sit in the same spot all day and keep eating junk food. Like a little worm. I always try to look offended when she calls me like that but I just can't hide my stupid smile :D Because she's right.. I do look like a little worm :D

~*I know the secret!*~

Ok, guys, sorry... I'm starting my diet from 19th October. I read that it has to be a change when you start this diet and now it's a full moon.
I'm a very strict person when we talk about rules :D

And now this is the reason why I'm writing this entry... I FINALLY KNOW!!!! GUYS I KNOW HOW OLD HAZUKI-SAN EXACTLY IS!!!!! OMFG!!! I should become a detective.. srsly... I still can't believe this... That thing has been in front of my eyes for ages and I didn't notice it... Jesus Christ I'm so stupid but happy right now :D
Hazuki has uploaded the youtube video on his blog and I was like: "woah jrockers (without mentioning Miyavi) really use youtube :D". And I wanted to explore who is that lucky person whose video appeared on Hazuki's blog. So I open that profile... And what I see... A male.. from Japan... With 3 official lynch. videos uploaded... 28 YEARS OLD!!!
COME ON IT'S FUCKING OBVIOUS THAT IT'S HIM!!!
KYAAAH~~ now I can make thousands of compatibility tests using our dates :D Yes, I AM CRAZY. CRAZY IN LOVE :D :D
ok ok I'm not a stalker I'm just bored :D

~*Japanese diet*~

I'm gonna start that "Japanese diet" from tomorrow if I'll find a cabbage in the nearest supermarket.

Here is the 13 day diet plan which will help me to lose pounds.

1 day

Breakfast: black coffee without sugar.
Lunch: 2 boiled eggs, salad made of fresh cabbage mixed with one teaspoon of vegetable oil, a glass of tomato juice or 1 fresh tomato.
Dinner: fried or boiled fish, salad made of fresh cabbage mixed with one teaspoon of vegetable oil.

2 day

Breakfast: black coffee without sugar and one toast.
Lunch: fried or boiled fish, salad made of fresh cabbage mixed with one teaspoon of vegetable oil.
Dinner: 200 g of boiled beef, a glass of organic low-fat yogurt.

3 day

Breakfast: black coffee without sugar.
Lunch: raw egg, salad made of 3 big boiled carrots mixed with one teaspoon of vegetable oil.
Dinner: apples, as many as you want.

4 day

Breakfast: black coffee without sugar.
Lunch: 1 big parsley fried in vegetable oil, 3 apples.
Dinner: 2 boiled eggs, 200 g of boiled beef, salad made of fresh cabbage mixed with one teaspoon of vegetable oil.

5 day

Breakfast: salad made of 2 big raw carrots mixed with lemon juice.
Lunch: 500 g of low-fat fish fried or boiled, a glass of tomato juice.
Dinner: fried or boiled fish, salad made of fresh cabbage mixed with one teaspoon of vegetable oil.

6 day

Breakfast: black coffee without sugar.
Lunch: 500 g of boiled chicken without skin, salad made of raw carrots or fresh cabbage.
Dinner: 2 boiled eggs, salad made of raw carrot mixed with vegetable oil.

7 day

Breakfast: tea without sugar.
Lunch: 200 g of boiled beef, fruit.
Dinner: everything you want from menus of previous days except day 3.

Repeat the same menu for next 5 days beginning from day 1.

Wish me luck! :D

~*yum yum*~

So here's the pic of Noru-chan's chicken :D I love it! :D

*nom nom*


By the way, have you noticed how many cool photos Hazuki-san uploaded on his blog?
Jeez... he's really keen on fishing :DDDDD

I even dreamt him tonight. In the balcony of an apartment I don't know. Oh and I also asked him about his eye-glasses because I wanted to buy them :DDD

*sigh*

~*Stewie + Cartman = me?*~

I absolutely love absurd humour :D The more stupid it is the more I laugh at it :D
I guess my all time favorite cartoon characters are Cartman from South Park and Stewie from Family Guy.
I've been even compared with Stewie on one psytest. And it's true! I really do sometimes think like him :D And act like Cartman when I'm pissed off :D



Ah... I could watch South Park 24/7 :D

~*it's time for changes*~

I think I should start writing my blog in English. I have a few reasons for that.

1. I feel a bit guilty for those foreign people who open my blog and all they can see is blathering in a strange language they don't understand.
2. I should practise my English before IELTS. I've already graduated school so I don't have any classes and I'm afraid that my English can become worse.
3. I'm afraid my mother can read my blog. That would be very VERY bad. I can't let her do that :D

These are the main reasons~

By the way, yesterday I listened to new Jurga's album. It seemed to me a little bit boring but it's really good when you read a book or just want to chill out looking through window. The quality of her music is really good and I'm really proud of her.
My favorite song of the bunch is "Kišeniniai namai" (Pocket houses). Give it a listen:


I started liking it after my 2nd listen. It is so simple, relaxing and has an interesting atmosphere. Perfect for navel-gazing.

I even think that I would love to use it in my future films (haha guess what, I'll never creat a film -.-).
Hrr.. now that I'm talking about films.. I feel heartbroken that I'm applying just to Japanese studies. I also want study film making but life is life.. I only can choose on of my desires. That sucks so bad.. A half of my soul is bleeding :(
Ah whatever I should stop whining like an emo.


Talking about more happy stuff.. Noru-chan, today I'm preparing your chicken for the second time. You should be proud of me :D

I will upload you here a pic of it, k? ^^

1, 2, 3 *BOOM*!!!

GREENPEACE, MOTHERFUCKER!!!***