ambivalent ideal

Crap, forgot to show you this. I just love it! Love the way Hazuki-san is thinking.


lynch. - ambivalent ideal (translated lyrics):

Whirling emotions
Non-discriminating roulette
Giving oral sex to money-eating pigs
The lowest, the worst,
the best times
Expressions, emotionless, illusions, word-play, expressionless, yearning, erosion, rape,
clinging onto loneliness is the ruin of love

Please listen to me and Give your smile to me

In contradiction to the ideal you swell up,
Tracing along your back, become intoxicated in ecstasy

The wind has rusted,
until you sleep deeply tonight,
just like we're making music, just like we're melting together

Oh, can't you see you're to be killed
I know it's against my will
But here's my ideal

If you can wipe away those tears ... goodnight

-- my heart is overflowing and heavy and I'm unable to speak

-- when did everything fall apart?

The wind has rusted,
until you sleep deeply tonight,
just like we're making music, just like we're melting together

Oh,can't you see you're to be killed
I know it's against my will
But here's my ideal

If you can wipe away those tears ...

Farewell, you have ended love
There are no more words
The transience of this scattering temple,
It's beauty.

drama... blah blah

As I don't want this blog become another depressing crap just how the others were I'm not going to write all the details of the past few days.
The main things are.. that there's about 60% that I'm gonna be prohibited from taking exams. The other thing is that my Lithuanian teacher who was my ideal from the 5th grade betrayed me. I'm so disappointed. It's like the another lesson to me for not trusting in people. Other things are just too sorrowful to talk about and as I said no more crying in my blogs so I SHUT UP here.
But you should know that I almost left my apartment. Too tired from anything in this world. Ok I'm already bitching. STOP.

I can show you my exams shedule (well yeah as I said there are just 40% chance that my school will let me take them):

Lithuanian - 20th May;
English - 3rd June;
History - 10th June;
Geography - 11th June (crap.. no time to prepare because of History exam. I think I'll spend some time on learning this at the week before English exam..)


Now I just want to get drunk. Serious drunk. Be not able even to move. Lay on the ground and not fucking breathe.



Gotta go. Oyasumi.

crap vs cool

BAD THINGS:
I couldn't find the History book anywhere in the city which has to be read for tomorrow's test. (I'm dead)
My mother knows about the parents meeting at school (Ok now I'm really dead)

GOOD THINGS:
Instead of the History book I bought the new part from the series of "Georgia Nicholson's confessions" and a "LIETTUALAIS-SUOMALAINEN KESKUSTELUOPAS"!!! that's so cool.
The things started moving about the lynch. concert in Lithuania. OH COMMON 300 PEOPLE COME TO SEE THEM!!! we need 300 ppl so badly. oh pleeeaaaaaseee...

the "three" meme

man I'm bored ;/ so many conditions waiting and I still manage to be bored :D WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

I think I'll make the "three" meme..

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
Agnė
bossu
black

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU'VE HAD:
BlackBoUnTy
StarFucker
KapiniuGrazuole

THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES:
went to the wc :D
watched an ep of the "GHOST HUNTERS"
had a short chat with Lina

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
my intellect :DD
my skills to notice things that others don't
my music taste :D


THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
I'm lazy
I'm very lazy
I'm the laziest person you'll be able to meet on your fucking entire life. I mean it.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR ORIGINS:
Vilnius
Panevėžys
dunno the third coz of my "precious" dad


THREE THINGS YOU'RE AFRAID OF:
heights
spiders
cockroaches

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
pyjama-pants with mice on it :DDDD
sweater
glasses >;D *yeah I'm blind :D*

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
music
sleep
internet *poor me*

THREE IMPORTANT OBJECTS:
pc
music player
hair-straightener

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS:
deadman
ガゼット (at least - WAS)
all other nagoya kei and metal stuff <3

THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
eat. A LOT.
sleep (no time to worry about things)
I guess.. eat..

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
クララ零式 – 諸行無常
KUSSE - en guilty
lynch. - roaring in the dark (OFFICIAL BOOTLEG LIVE)

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
lip piercing
lose weight
somehow graduate that fucking school

THREE THINGS YOU REGRET:
not using words: "I love you"
not changing school
spending all birthday money on clothes and stuff

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
honesty
respect
love

THREE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'RE GIVING TO THE WORLD:
nothing good
really
I swear

THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
meaningful letter
laptop *threatful sight to parents*
books or upcoming DEATHGAZE album *I'm so boring T.T*

THREE REASONS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE:
fucked up family
fucked up teens
even more fucked up childhood

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
dreaming
listening to new j-music stuff
staring at the one point

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
get a laptop
get lynch. here in Lithuania
graduate school

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
singer
scriptwriter
sweeper *the most realistic one*

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY:
Philippines (yeah I want to meet da-kun so much *sniff*)
Paris
Finland

THREE CARTOON CHARACTERS:
Stewie (Family Guy)
Gintoki (Gintama)
I leave this one for myself

THREE BOY’S NAMES:
Kajus
Daisuke
Hazuki


THREE GIRL'S NAMES:
Gabija
Sayumi
Yori

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
forgive
live happily
have a good last sex :DDDDD

Nata... NATALIA!!!~

I have a drama on my last.fm's chatbox. That Natalia from Poland thing is so retarded. That makes me laugh :D
Btw I received two postcards from China today. Cool! But one thing I have to say:
"You lithuanian morons from the post office should be killed for putting your fucking stamp on the picture side of the postcard!" >w<

angura kei invasion

I've just found a person on last.fm with a mind-blowing music taste. She's a mad angura kei fan. I should stalk her :D Woah tomorrow I'm gonna write a list of bands from her profile which are definitely must to listen. I can already smell a mass of wonderful music. Such people must be canonized :DDD and yeah peeps I still not doing my homeworks. I'm such a moron.. T^T

bossu's is studying haha

So peeps. I've got:
4 history conditions
3 geography conditions;
2 biology conditions;
1 maths condition;
1 religion condition;
and some other stuff which must be cleared up until this Wednesday.  Yes. Within 2 days.
erm... I didn't even started to prepare. I dunno if it's worthy to wish me luck..  GANBARIMASU!
sleepless night on the way :P
I just hope I won't become like that:



We just need to replace that manga thing to "history" or smth :DDD

Christmas on the way =O

So finally we have a winter here for about a whole week. It's getting colder and colder. I can't even smoke in my balcony without a coat *sniff* There's a blizzard all this day. Actually the sound of the wind blowing woke me up this morning. Well ok.. this afternoon :D The snow reminds me Christmas. Hate Christmas. Burn Christmas. And I don't even have money for the presents. People gave me so many gifts this year and I'm such a loser who can't even bring that love and presents back T.T At least I'm hoping to redeem from sin when I'll go to Japan. I don't care if I had to eat just rice and water. I'll buy them as much stuff as I can m(_ _)m.
I don't wait this year's Christmas at all. I don't have money. I don't know what to do. I'm in a freakin' panic.
Oh gawd I need to make a surprise for da-kun. Maybe I should start it today or tomorrow. Gosh I'm always late at things like that. I had to do this at least a week ago T.T oh well... I'm a no-good person.. gomenasai..
I just keep dreaming stupid stuff. Like how me and my friends are organizing lynch.'s concert in Lithuania. This is so impossible but I still keep dreaming.. *sniff*

Kousei is back!

OH MAH GAWD. Kousei is starting his activities in a band called "Drop Star Shooting". This is so perfect! After GHOST suspension I thought I won't see him on stage ever in my life. This makes me want to go to Japan even more badly! Kousei-san I'm coming! *w*
Can't wait to hear the new stuff..
Here is the homepage of this band.


btw my new blog is still under construction so have patience please!